All posts by Julie

Be a Boss

I’m An Introvert – How Can I Be A Good Leader?

When you think of Business Leaders, do you think of Elon Musk, Sir Alan Sugar, and Theo Paphitis?  There is a certain stereotype which comes to mind when talking about the leadership required to run your own business.  And it is a stereotype that holds people back from starting up a business.  And it shouldn’t.

There have been studies done – one by Adam Grant at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, which showed that introverts can be MORE successful leaders than their extrovert counterparts. 

Why is that the case?

Well, extroverts tend to like to be the centre of attention and can feel threatened by other people’s ideas, whereas introverts are often better at listening and taking in information from their teams and then letting their teams take the credit.  Which leads to more of the same. 

There is a caveat to that though.  And it comes down to the makeup of the team.  Where the team was young or not proactive – they were waiting to be told what to do – the extrovert manager could inspire them into action.  And in those teams, there was a 16% uptake.

In teams where the individuals were proactive, the introverted leader got more out of them, because they were less likely to need to put ‘their own stamp on everything’ and more likely to listen and encourage ideas from their teams.

The more leaders listen to their teams and empower them to make decisions, the better decisions the individuals on those teams make, and the more time the leader has for reflection and creativity.

Talking of creativity, introverts tend to be very creative. Think Albert Einstein, JK Rowling and Steve Wozniak.  And many good things come from that.  Creativity leads to better decision making and also to being inspirational.  Who doesn’t want to be around someone inspirational?

Introverts also tend to be more thoughtful and prepared, less likely to take unconsidered risks.  Some put the financial crash of 2008 down to extroverts taking unnecessary risks.  Some of the ‘introverts’ who cautioned against certain actions were ignored because they didn’t shout loud enough.

Well, maybe that’s a lesson for introverts. 

And let’s make something clear. ‘Introvert’ doesn’t mean shy.  Shy people fear social judgement.  Introverts don’t, they just get their energy for quiet and calm environments, rather than the parties or social interactions that energise extroverts.

And talking about calmness – that is another characteristic of introverts.

Calmness is a fantastic quality to have as a Leader.

When the doodie hits the fan, extroverts may shout, lose their temper, point accusatory fingers and generally show their frustration.  Introverts remain calm.

Which helps them in several ways.  Firstly, they are able to look at the situation objectively and not make rash or emotional decisions.  Secondly, their demeanour is a massive help to the people around them.  If your boss is showing signs of stress, how much more stressful is that for an employee? 

If your boss is calm when problems arise, then you are more likely to also remain calm and to objectively search for solutions rather then waste your energy coming up with ‘your defence’ (if it is a problem that you might be blamed for) or waste your time worrying about your job or the company. 

Of course, not all introverts are great leaders and not all extroverts are bad leaders.  One thing is true though.  It is easier to climb the ladder in corporate land as an extrovert.  There are estimates that around 60% of senior management are extroverts.  Now whether that is because people like ‘people like them’ or whether it is because extroverts are generally more visible is hard to say.  Probably a combination of both.

Can introverts learn to be more extrovert and vice versa?

Yes of course, and they absolutely should.  Because no one style fits all situations.  So sometimes the introverts need to step up and take charge, and sometimes they need to step out of their comfort zones and go talk to people at the coffee machine or in the network meeting.  Equally, sometimes extroverts benefit from being quiet and listening more. 

But with 40% of current leaders in business classifying themselves as Introverts, we already have many examples of great introverted leaders. 

The ideal may be to strive to be an “ambivert”, someone who is equally introverted and extroverted (even if one of those is learned behaviour). 

So, before your inner voice tells you that you can’t be a good manager or start your own business as an introvert, remember that is just F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real).  The truth is you can be the leader you want to be as an introvert. 

Being a great leader has not much to do with being an extrovert or an introvert.  It comes down to some simple leadership principles, like listening, creativity, planning, risk assessment and motivating staff.  Which can all be learned.

If you need some help with that or just a place to exchange ideas – go join the Quiet Leaders With Impact Facebook Group here.

Elon_Musk_

Quiet Leadership?

“Quiet” might not be the word you would associate with a successful leader. The business world has a tonne of stories about big brash leaders – LOUD leaders – from Elon Musk to Donald Trump, running companies with an iron fist.  These leaders get results through fear in most cases.  Or at the least through having such strict structures in place that people don’t have to use their own initiative at all.  They also have (at least in the above cases) a sizeable ruthless streak.

It can be intimidating to a new leader who might be naturally more introverted – to look at these examples.  They can feel like they are ‘not leadership material’.  But the truth is that in today’s workplaces, people are much less likely to respond to being ‘told what to do’. 

There is a new and powerful leadership style emerging.  It is what I call – quiet leadership. 

What is Quiet Leadership?

Let’s clear up one misunderstanding about quiet leadership.  It doesn’t mean they are necessarily timid, just that they are more likely to take action than talk about it. 

They are quietly confident rather than having a high ego or arrogance.  They would rather solve problems through logical thought and encouraging ideas from their teams, rather than imposition or micro-management. 

Quiet leaders are open and approachable and tend to generate a lot of loyalty in their teams, as they have earned respect, not fear.

“My way or the highway” is the opposite of what quiet leaders do.  They will often take longer to make decisions than more ;authoritarian’ styles, as they ant to get all the information first in order to make a better decision.

Leading by Example

This is a characteristic of quiet leaders.  They won’t ask anyone to do something that they are not prepared to do, and they will stick to the ‘rule’ – company policies and procedures, so that they can lead by example.

These leaders have a natural empathy which cannot be manufactured.  They are genuine and they care.  People sense this from them – but the difference between an effective and an ineffective quiet leader is probably the leading by example. 

This builds the trust that leads to highly effective teams.

Examples of Quiet Leadership

Bill Gates is a good example.  He has this quiet style but its totally confident in himself – in fact he is purported to enjoy it when employees challenge him – even the most junior employee

Jacinda Arden – New Zealand’s premier – is an example of this leadership style.  She has had a very effective first term – passing more laws in New Zealand than the last 4 governments, mostly due to her ability to listen and bring people together.  She is visibly empathetic which makes her popular with the general public.  It would be difficult to imagine her losing the upcoming election (though anything is possible in politics!).

Of course – there is no single style of leadership that always works, and leader have to be able to flex, given circumstances and what the people they are managing need.  If there is a fire in the office, you won’t find a proper leader asking peoples opinions, they will be leading the way out of the building. 

However, the quiet leadership model is one that fits our times far better than autocratic leadership.  You don’t have to worry as a manager if your style is ore ‘quiet’ than loud.  In fact, it is often the case that you will be more emotionally intelligent than your louder compatriots!  Your team may perceive they are self-led, because of how your style impacts them.  As long as you always lead by example, stand up for them when it is right to do so, and are authentic, you will be seen as a great leader and not a ‘weak’ one.

There is a fine line between people thinking you listen to their feedback because you can be manipulated, and understanding that you listen to them because it makes perfect sense to do so. 

Feel free to reach out to Julie to discuss further on julie@thinkbedoleadership.com or connect with her on LinkedIn here

Feedback

Harsh But Fair?

Harsh But Fair?

With this skill, you will be able to positively affect your team’s performance and also their morale.  You will be able to speed up their development in their role or encourage them towards the next role.  Your company, turnover, and profits will all grow, and you will be able to sleep at night knowing that your company functions well, you have competent people and you don’t need to be there every second of the day 

Without this, you are likely to be pulling your hair out about your teams seeming inability to do anything without you.  Your team may think you are “too nice” or equally they might think you are a bit of a tyrant.  Mostly they won’t know what to think or expect from you, and people might be walking around on eggshells. They certainly won’t be growing and developing into their best versions of themselves.  And your company won’t be achieving all that it could. 

What am I talking about? 

I am talking about feedback. 

Feedback is the breakfast of champions, so the saying goes.  But it isn’t always easy to give, is it?

I mean, it is fine when everything is going well.  You have learned how to be specific in your feedback and NOT say things like, “Good job Jeff”, but to instead say, “I really liked the way you handled that customer query.  You made the customer feel important and he will come here again.  Keep doing that!”.

And, as I said, that’s great when you have good feedback to give.

But what happens when you need to tell someone something that they may not want to hear? 

What happens when they haven’t done a particularly good job, and it’s up to you to deliver the bad news?

What I often see, if managers and business leaders who ‘don’t want to upset the apple cart’ or would rather ‘let sleeping dogs lie’.  They hope that if they don’t ‘make a big thing of it’, whatever “it” is will just go away.  It was a one-off wasn’t it? 

Maybe they are a bit overwhelmed with work, and ‘can’t find the time’.  Perhaps they don’t think it is that big a deal, it will only take them ‘5 minutes to put it right anyway’. 

Here’s the thing.  That never works.  What generally happens is you get so sick of the poor performance (that is a secret, because you have never mentioned anything about it), that your elastic eventually snaps and you start shouting the odds.  The person you are shouting at (rightly) feels offended and confused, and probably upset.  I mean, they had NO IDEA that you felt that way – because you have ‘put up with it’ and never said a word. 

And it really isn’t helpful. 

How can anyone who works for you, learn how to be the best version of themselves if you never tell them what they could be doing better?  If you allow poor performance to go unchecked you are being unfair.  You are being unfair to the person who has made the mistake, or underperformed.  You are being unfair to the rest of their team, as people aren’t stupid.  They know what’s what, and may wonder why you are allowing this to go on. 

And you are definitely being unfair to yourself and to the company.  Poor performance that is allowed to continue sets a precedent, and you will find your team may lower their standards to the level of the underperformer.  Which means YOU have more stress, more sleepless nights and are working much longer and harder than anyone else.  Does that sound good to you? 

No?  Well alright then. 

So, what should you do instead?

Well, the other day I was online in my coaching group.  One of the women in their asked for feedback about something she had created.  And before I had a chance to respond, one of the other group members gave her the asked for feedback.  And it was HARSH.  But it was fair.  Now it made me suck my teeth in when I read it, because it was raw and gave no quarter.  I might have delivered it with a little more love. 

However, it was absolutely spot on and exactly what that person needed to know. 

I was proud of her for being brave enough to ask for feedback and I was in admiration of the boldness of the responder.  There will not be days or weeks of wasted effort, the feedback will be put into practice and serve its purpose of moving that person on in a positive way.  She was grateful for the honesty, and that honesty allowed other members of the group to also be honest (if a little less harsh!). 

It is not an easy skill to develop for most people and if you feel like you could do with some help on your feedback skills then drop me a line to julie@thinkbedoleadership.com  and let’s talk!  I am happy to give you my feedback – anytime !!

Too much of a good thing

How Much is Too Much of a Good Thing?

Well, here I am in Tunisia, and I’m not sure where the time has gone or whether I am more happy to be going home, or more sad to be leaving.  And it made me ask the question – how much is ‘too much’ of a good thing. 

I don’t know about you, but 7 days never seem long enough, and sometimes 14 days seems too much.  On the other hand, I remember a friend saying that on her honeymoon she was so pleased at the end of 2 weeks in paradise – to be waving off the other honey-mooners who were leaving.  But less than 48 hours later they started pining for home and were finger tapping (metaphorically) for the last 5 days.

We are coming home tomorrow and I’m happy with that – especially as we then have the weekend for all the washing and mail opening etc.  But it made me think – it’s a bit like managing staff (except for the sun and beach of course).

When you are trying to keep your team productive, happy and busy, it is important not to give them too much to do.  Too much work, and the inability to complete it, is vastly demotivating and will lead to LESS being achieved not more, as people are trying to deal with a feeling of ball-juggling and overwhelm.

Recognising Burnout

If you have some Type A’s in your team, they will be only too happy to take on more and more tasks, more and more responsibility.  And they will be the last to see they are in danger of or suffering from burnout.  As the leader, you need to recognise the signs and take action. 

The key 3 symptoms of physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism and detachment and feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment – can be further broken down. 

And here’s what to look for regarding burn out. 

If you have someone who is always tired – and talks about not being able to get to sleep, or waking in the night and not returning to sleep – this is a classic.  Lack of sleep exacerbates the problem (the underlying stress) and leads to other symptoms like forgetfulness and lack of attention to detail.  If someone who previously had the memory of an elephant, starts to forget things – this is a red flag. 

Under this category comes physical symptoms – dizziness, shortness of breath, headaches for example, and also real illnesses.  This is because prolonged stress weakens the immune system. 

Irritability and anger outbursts are another common sign of burn out. 

Under ‘cynicism and detachment’, you’ll find signs of pessimism in a previous optimist, and signs that they are not enjoying their work anymore including ‘Thank God it’s Friday’ syndrome, and dreading Mondays.

Feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment are signaled by poor productivity and performance, and again, signs of irritability or picking arguments. 

Burnout is a real and present danger in every workforce, especially in our “ever on, 24-hour” world.

Recognising Disengagement

However, not giving your team enough responsibility or enough work to do, can also be demotivating.  They will potentially feel bored, undervalued and unmotivated.  And then they disengage from the job and from you.

Signs of a disengaged workforce can be similar to signs of burnout above, but there are differences. 

Here is what to look out for.

There are some obvious signs like rudeness, absenteeism, lateness, low energy, bad attitudes and lack of enthusiasm.  But people don’t suddenly one day decide to stage a coup from their desk.  There are signs that come before this, that give a clue to employee disengagement.

Firstly – don’t make the mistake of thinking because someone is hitting goals that they are engaged.  They might just have a high sense of personal responsibility and work ethic. 

When I was in the police force, I knew several people who performed their job very well, from a sense of civic duty and personal pride.  But they hated their manager who didn’t trust them to do their job and didn’t make them feel valued, or that their career ambitions mattered. 

What you will find with this kind of person though, is a lack of initiative.  They won’t suggest any improvements or innovations, they won’t take part in team days or out of work activities.  They have disengaged from the process.

The second sign to look for is an overindulgence in something.  Are they going for a fag more often, or a coffee?  Are they gaining weight?  Do they come into work looking the worse for wear?  Often people who have lost their mojo, fill the gap with something else – and not always a healthy something else!

If people are dis-engaged, you might also notice a lack of enthusiasm for things you would hope people would be enthusiastic about – company or team wins for example or lack of interest in training.  And also – watch out for people who do ‘nothing’ at the weekends or in the evenings. 

When you are demotivated at work, it can infiltrate into all parts of your life.  This is not always the case of course, but certainly, if someone is becoming depressed, these signs are far more likely to be apparent.

Getting the balance right, like everything in life, is not easy but it is possible. 

In order to get the balance between giving too much work and responsibility, and not enough, you need 3 things:-

  • Understand your staff
  • Know what they want
  • Be clear on their skill level or training needs.

If you have staff who know where they are going, and their goals are achievable and in line with company goals.  If those staff feel important, listened to and understood.  And if they also have the skills, experience and/or knowledge to complete the tasks, and understand the upside of doing so (and downside of not doing so), then you can strike that balance between ‘too much’ and ‘not enough’. 

If you need any help or inspiration with that email me at julie@thinkbedoleadership.com or visit our Facebook Page here.  

bottleneck in your business

Bottleneck to Boss. Why Are You Holding Your Business Back?

Bottleneck to Boss.  Why are you holding your business back?

Are you looking to grow your business?  If the answer to that is ‘yes’ but it isn’t happening, then the next question is – ‘are YOU holding your business back?’

What often happens in small businesses is that the owner naturally does everything – at first.  There is only you right?  Or maybe you start as a partnership, so there are 2 of you – Yippee!  And you do a great job, so your business naturally grows. 

At some point though, you have run out of hours to do any more work, and so the only solution is to outsource or hire staff.  Either way with this one, it often doesn’t work out.  And the reason is potentially, that you don’t trust anyone else to do the job right.  Or sometimes – you haven’t briefed them properly.  But mostly the first one.

The problem with this is it inhibits your growth. 

If you find that all the decisions land at YOUR feet, and that is a customer has an issue they only call YOU, then you aren’t managing a business, you are managing yourself.  And there is only one of you, and there are only 24 hours in a day.

If you try to control everything then you create a bottleneck in your business.  And no-one will help you to solve it – because you have made it very clear that you want to do everything, so why should they help?

At some point, you need to make a decision to let some stuff go.  Yes – you might be the best copywriter in your business.  But if all the publication and marketing team are sitting around twiddling their thumbs waiting for your copy, which you haven’t written yet because 3 customers have contacted you today and you had to deal with that, then nothing is getting done is it?

You might have to decide to let something go, and see what happens. 

If you take the time to hire or train someone to do some of the work you are currently doing, it may feel painful.  It may give you a sleepless night even.  But just imagine how good it will feel when you have people who can take stuff off your shoulders so that you are not working 18 hours a day 7 days a week. 

You can still work those hours if you want – but it is your choice and not because ‘no-one else can do it’.  Here’s the thing.  If there is a job that someone else in the world CAN do, it means you don’t have to do it.  You may choose to do it, but please don’t kid yourself that no-one else can, because that is just not true. 

The only reason someone else cannot do a job is that – you don’t trust them to do it, you haven’t trained them to do it, or you haven’t hired the right people yet.  Your job should be to find the right people, train them and then trust them.  Not to do everything yourself.  Or your business will never grow.

So – is it time to stop being the bottleneck and start being the boss?

If you know it is, but you are not sure how to do that – email me on julie@thinkbedoleadership.com for a no-obligation strategy call. 

Happy kids

How to Win The Three Legged Race in Business

How to Win The Three Legged Race in Business

The Three-Legged race – it’s that time of year isn’t it?  Have you been at a school sports day recently?  Or do you remember your own sports days? Well, I was at my kids sports day today, and it was good to see all the ‘old’ stuff still exists.  There is still the ‘Egg and Spoon’ race, Tug of War and of course, the good old Three-Legged race.  It’s hilarious for those watching, and sometimes for those playing. 

Yes, it’s all good fun …until….someone gets upset. 

Why would they get upset?  Well, because the other person “isn’t doing it right” or “they’re going too fast”, or too slow. Sometimes they aren’t paying attention because they suddenly see their Mum cheering them on in the crowd and they get out of step.  Sometimes one person stops and the other one doesn’t.  And the only way to get the rhythm back is by completely stopping and restarting. 

You see the three-legged race depends on co-operation and communication.  It also involves agreeing a strategy.  And watching the participants today, it is clear that those who collaborate well, go faster. 

And it made me think.  It’s a bit like business really, isn’t it?  And teamwork in particular. 

Teams who collaborate well, generally ‘go faster’.  Everything seems to be so easy and just flows.  It’s the difference between a great experience in a restaurant and a poor one, for example.  9 times out of 10, when people aren’t happy in a restaurant, it isn’t about the food (the product) it is about the service – the EXPERIENCE.

And that applies to the team themselves.  9 times out of 10 when someone leaves a team or a business, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with the product the business produces or the ‘company’ itself, it is about the lack of teamwork and leadership.  Because the leader is, of course, an integral part of the team.

If the leader explains the vision (to get to the finish line without falling over), and the rules (how to move with ‘3’ legs), and why we are doing it (to have fun), then the outcome is more likely to happen. 

If the team then collaborates (one person ties the knot), communicates (if we get out of step we stop and start again) and co-operates (I wanted to tie the knot but I am happy for you to do it, if I can go on the right hand side), then it is much more likely that the goal will be achieved.

If, on the other hand, the team are not clear on what they are supposed to do (one little boy running on his own to the line) then it becomes more difficult to achieve a result.  And if the team start to blame each other for ‘failures’ (knots that come undone, falling over etc), then that really prevents focus on the solution. 

And we all know where that is going to end.  With one party stomping off crying and the other calling names.  And I wasn’t referring to the kids!! 

Teams can be a tricky dynamic, or they can be the biggest asset the business has.  Teams are so crucial to business success (and to winning three-legged races), and that’s why I created the Team Performance Engine ™.  Teams that laugh and collaborate, under focused leadership, make a massive difference to your business.  If you’d like to know more about the Team Performance Engine and how it can impact on your bottom line get in touch on julie@thinkbedoleadership.com

bob

Can We Do IT? Yes YOU Can!!

Have you got a ‘catastrophe’ friend?  Or work colleague?  You know the sort – everything is always a drama.  Nothing goes smoothly for them and they always have a story to tell about the latest major trauma!

I get it, really.  Sometimes life can throw you a curve ball that you weren’t expecting, and as human beings we are pre-programmed to resist curve balls.  Our brains job is to keep us safe.  And therefore it likes predictability, routine and to know what is happening.  Because when it knows what it happening, when the day / the person / the activity is familiar, then it is not a threat.

Think about it like this. 

In caveman days – if you went out of your cave in the morning and looked across the savannah and you saw everything you expected to see, then there was no immediate danger.  BUT.  If you looked out and saw a herd of animals running your way – then chances were there was big predator behind them.  Then you had to take evasive action.  Run and hide or stay and fight. 

Well, your brain still thinks like that – at least your subconscious – some call it – reptilian – brain. 

So, it is kind of understandable when your ‘catastrophe’ friend sees everything as a catastrophe.  But the problem with that is, you are likely to feel the associated stress.  And when you feel stressed you are in foveal vision. 

That means you are concentrating on the problem.  When you focus on something – that thing is all you see, and if that becomes your ‘norm’ then you will likely see the catastrophe in everything. 

And that’s a problem if you are a leader in your business.  Because, here’s the thing, your team will take it’s lead from you.  If you see ‘the new changes’ as a bad thing – so will they.  EVEN if you have not said that out loud.  90% of communication is non-verbal. 

But there is another way.

Because life IS literally about how you see it.  Where some see problems, others see opportunities.  It’s all about perspective.

This morning our builders turned up to do some work on the house.  We had planned what they were doing and the kitchen was definitely the last thing on the agenda.  For reasons best known to builders – turns out they started on the kitchen.  Which means that I have no kitchen now and no running water downstairs.  Unplanned.

I could see it as a disaster, and I would certainly be “justified” to do so.  Your “catastrophe” friend definitely would.  However, what I actually found was that it was exciting.  I had to choose a new kitchen today!  And now I am very excited to see what my new kitchen will look like. 

And because I was excited rather than upset and stressed, Ronnie and the kids also got exited (well as excited as kids can get about a new kitchen).

Which made me also think about decision making and procrastination.  You see – we hadn’t made a decision about a new kitchen, because we thought we had plenty of time, and didn’t NEED to make the decision yet. 

I have a friend who runs her own business.  Mostly she is very quick to make decisions regarding her business.  But put her in a bookshop or a supermarket, and she won’t be able to make a decision to save her life and will end up buying nothing or buying twice as much as she actually needs!  Because there is no urgency.  There is no reason why she MUST decide now. 

So, if you find you are a natural procrastinator – it is vital that you set yourself deadlines AND that you have someone to hold you accountable to those deadlines.  Otherwise – guess what – you’ll still be wandering round that proverbial bookshop, when it’s locking up time, with nothing to show for it. 

Need some help with overcoming procrastination or catastrophe mindsets in your team? Email me on julie@thinkbedoleadership.com

Man

Resilience – Am I Just Being Mean?

Resilience – Am I Just Being Mean?

Yesterday, I was delivering a module of my Leaders Launchpad to a fabulous group of leaders and the subject of resilience came up. It was pretty opportune for me, as it is half term and I have been working from home, feeling under pressure to get things done.

That day I had 3 hrs of training to deliver, a number of potential client calls, amongst that juggling trying to be “mum of the year” (making pancakes, make-your-own pizzas (including the dough- eek), with my 8 and 12 year old being in the house, taking the dog out for 2 walks and prep for upcoming work.

Add to the mix, my husband having a part as an extra in a cool film, so he was out from 5 am until 9pm. A busy day and not really as I had planned it to be! Now, not every week is like that, but every week has it’s challenges. 

And the subject today is resilience.  So, what is being resilient?

I realised that this week has tested me a fair bit and that this conversation comes up on a regular basis, not just for me, but for many of my clients. How do you hold it all together with so much going on? How do you keep going without falling over?

So, I really wanted to get to the bottom of what it means to be resilient and what helps you to keep going in the face of adversity and, sometimes, overwhelm and overwork.

It boiled down to 4 things:

• Belief in the CAUSE

• Belief in the fact that it CAN be done

• Belief in the fact YOU can do it

• Accepting that there is some hard work and that that is OK.

Now there may be more, but these were what came up for those in the Leaders Launchpad room at the time. If you can really link to why you are doing what you do, then you can keep going. If you know it is possible, you carry on trying, and if you believe in your ability to do it, then you are more likely to start and continue.

Add to it having a process of work that you plan, keep to and plod on with, means that you get through to the end! On the day, we also looked at what stops people from being resilient. Where they had given up when it got hard or found the reasons for why they couldn’t do it, didn’t put the effort in or put things off.

It may seem a bit harsh, but the room really wanted to know why this happens (to all of us sometimes when we were least expecting it). It seems that these same 4 things still apply. If you don’t’ have a big enough why – the cause – then what you want to achieve just never gets to the top of the priority pile and you can easily say “no” to it. Was it Henry Ford who said, “If you think you can, or if you think you can’t, you are right”?

Something like that, but that is so true. If you don’t believe it can be done, then you set things up (probably unconsciously) so that it doesn’t get done. You don’t put that effort in, or you don’t start the thing because somewhere deep in your mind, it is not “worth” doing it as you “know” it is not going to work.

Then add to that, if you don’t believe that YOU personally can do it then, of course, you will do the same. Self-Sabotage will rise up and you will wonder how come that it happened again – you didn’t achieve, you had to stop, or you weren’t as successful as you thought.

Lastly, the hard work thing. Hmmm…. I pondered on this because I don’t want to think I am a taskmaster and only care about “Just Do It”. But, so often, I have seen that people have not prepared themselves for the fact that there is going to be some knuckle down moments to get through whatever is going on.

Now, of course, this should not be how we live our lives all the time but when we need that resilience, we do have to accept that not everything comes easy. Sometimes I see people complaining as to how they didn’t get what they planned for, they didn’t achieve the goal they wanted. 

Typically when we look at the planning, effort and just seeing it through, what we see is an unrealistic expectation that they shouldn’t have to work at it. I do believe that part of achieving is understanding that we have to be in implementation mode sometimes. 

Like it or not, you have to just get on with things and accept that there is work to be done and you can’t avoid it – you have to do it. Maybe that is my 16 years in policing, right up to Inspector level? The police force was a great training ground for having no excuse – the buck stopped right here!

So, if you mix belief in the CAUSE, belief it CAN work, belief that YOU are capable and then take ACTION, then it is easy to be more resilient, more able to keep going because you are part of something great. 

It is easier to keep going when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But you have to look for the end of the tunnel or you will just sit in the dark, accepting that it is, well, dark and dingy and not where you want to be.

So, I want you to ask yourself, do you have those 4 things in place? If you don’t, you may find that you don’t feel very resilient, you don’t find it easy to keep going and you struggle to keep others motivated too.

What help do you need to find that cause, find the belief you need and find the energy to take action? If you need to work that through, then reply with YES in the comment or subject line and let’s create a more resilient you.

Listen to me

Yes Finally – I am Coming Out!

Yes Finally – I am Coming Out!

I have been avoiding this – but why? 

It started the other day when a good friend of mine – Nikki – saw a post I put up on LinkedIn and text me to say she had been wondering what had been happening to me.  As soon as I read her text I knew that other people would have been feeling the same way.  You see I have been avoiding doing what I should have done months ago.  I have been avoiding saying the words I needed to say, and I am not really sure why.

I think it is because of FOBJ

No, it’s not a Myers Briggs profile.  It is the fear of being judged. 

Here’s the thing – everyone has this FOBJ.  We worry that people won’t like what we say or do, and so you change your behaviour – just in case 

But the problem with that is, that you are not being authentic (one of my pet hates, how about you?).  And so I need to put it right out there – I am sorry I have been hiding from the truth and not allowing myself to just be me.

Perhaps you have noticed a difference too.  My weekly emails to you have been in a slightly different format, and you too may have wondered what was going on.

So here it is.  Due to some inescapable, unavoidable and sad things that have happened to us personally over the last 12 months, we have found our personal priorities and goals have changed, and so we have mutually decided that we need to move forwards separately. 

Jan needs to be nearer her family, and I too need to find more flexibility and balance in my business and family life – the Holy Grail of work/life balance!   And, like most endings, there is some sadness as we have achieved some great stuff together and had fun doing it. 

We also realised that life, and the people who need us are actually the most important thing.  Aren’t they the reason we do most things?  And our continued partnership wasn’t going to meet those needs.  And so, we just have to move forwards.

We are friends and will always collaborate on projects into the future, in fact we have our next coffee and catch up tomorrow afternoon. 

So, what was the mistake, and why was I hiding? 

Well, I was a bit worried about putting out information that people might perceive negatively.  I mean – everything is always pink and fluffy in our digital / social media world.  And so I just avoided saying anything – which is daft, and more likely to case confusion! 

To be clear – just so you know – I am continuing with the work that I always have done, but with my new company name (Think, Be, Do Leadership), and with more focus on technical experts.  Technical experts who ned to become leaders, has always been my passion.  As a trained engineer going through the ranks myself back I the day – I know how that feels. 

I am actually very excited about this new iteration.  I am the same me as I ever was – dedicated, passionate, down-to-earth and a say-it-like-it-is person. And I am now going to stand up and be counted as me in my new business – THINK BE DO Leadership. I have named it that way because I truly believe that you can’t change what you do, unless you change how you think and how you behave.

Getting conscious about that is one of the major starting points that I work with my clients on.  So, here I am – The Director and Chief Impact Engineer of Think Be Do Leadership. Helping leaders to create the impact they desire to grow their careers and businesses.

I am happy, passionate and ready to allow myself to be me. And I would love to know what you think and how this situation might apply to you too?

Do you sometimes find yourself NOT saying the one thing that needs to be said?  Do you avoid awkward subjects or conflict?  Let me know how this has affected your business or career.

Have a great day and wish me well for Think Be Do Leadership !

Stop Doing That! Dealing With Imposter Syndrome

When it comes to being a new manager or leader, and especially in a very technical environment, one of the most common things I am asked to help with is people who suffer with Imposter Syndrome.

This week I had a few responses to a post I put out about making an impact in your business.

Two of the responses were something that about half my clients could have written – though I am sure both the people who wrote them though they were the only one.

The gist of it was that they had been in a very hands on operational management role, and had recently moved into a strategic role.  They were enjoying it very much but they felt like they were being paid too much.

What do I mean by that?

First of all – having never been in this role before, they were struggling with how hands off it was.  They were enjoying spending time with their people but weren’t sure what else they should be doing.  One of them actually said, “I feel guilty – like what am I being paid for if I don’t have too much to do?”.

And both of them felt they were ‘winging it’.  In other words, they were both suffering from Imposter Syndrome. 

This is really common when moving into any new role, but especially so when you are moving from a technical to a leadership role, or an operational to a strategic role.  The feeling that if you are not actually producing something then you are not justifying your salary – is a very common feeling.

But of course, the value you bring as a Leader is not measured in how many widgets you produce but in how many widgets your TEAM produces.  And how happy they are producing those widgets.  And how happy your customers are with the widgets.  And with how happy the stakeholders or shareholders are with the outcomes.  And how happy the board are with the vision and direction.  And with a number of other things. 

The job of the leader is to lead, to inspire, to anticipate, predict and create the future for their company.  What could be more important than that?

The thing is – it is easy to see why someone who is very technical could struggle with this sort of career move. When you are technical, you measure yourself by what you produce. How many proposals have you written this month, or how much code have you written, or how many projects have you signed off.

When you become a leader – those things are still happening in your business but they are not being done directly by you, or in some cases, not even by your team (as they themselves have teams who are actually completing the work).

And so sometimes it can seem like your job is to sit in meetings.

However, the role of the leader is so vital to an organisation. Get it wrong and the cascading effect is truly awful. Many lives are affected by a leader and most people (who are unhappy) do not leave companies – they leave a specific manager or leader.

Equally – get this right and you can have a massive impact and increase productivity, creativity and results hugely. After all, 2, or 10, or 100 heads are better than 1. As long as there is just 1 vision!

So – if you feel you might be suffering from Imposter Syndrome, and would like some support with this new or potential career move – drop me a line on julie@thinkbedoleadership.com