Be Aware Leaders - Not all feedback is the same
I was recording some videos recently for my impact Accelerator Programme and the subject of feedback loomed in the air.
We know as Leaders we need to grow our positive intentional impact.
To grow, we need to know how, where, and why we need to change and adapt.
But everyone is always a little nervous of this module, even though they know it has to be done.
And we always come to the conclusion that not all feedback is the same.
We need it to be relevant, accurate and worthwhile or we won’t listen or take it on board.
So, let’s look at some feedback home truths.
- We influence the quality of our own feedback
- Feedback must be in the context of the role
- Feedback doesn't come from an e-mail conversation – it’s a human thing
- Awkward people give awful feedback
- Throwing your teddies out the pram doesn’t get good feedback
1. We influence the quality of our own feedback
As an overarching statement we need to recognise that we are actually in control of our own feedback. If you don’t set the scene, get the context, and show up in the right way, then the whole affair is a non-starter.
So, let’s dig into a few of those elements
2. Feedback must be given in the context of the role
It's all very well asking for feedback from our peers, from our team, or from our manager, but if it's not done in the context of what the role requires then the feedback can be flawed.
Imagine asking your team what they thought of your strategic planning if they don't see that side of you. They might see the outcome of it, and be able to comment, but they might not see how you plan, how you think, or the conversations that you're having at that level.
But also imagine asking the CEO how you work with your team. Now maybe they will see the impact of that, but they might not see what’s going on behind closed doors, so to speak.
So, what I'm saying is that we can get our feedback from anywhere and everywhere, but it needs to be in the context of what that person knows about us, sees about us, and understands about how we should, and need to be showing up in the role that we are in.
3. Feedback is a human thing
If you want good feedback, then hiding behind an e-mail, or a text, or a spreadsheet for somebody to fill in isn’t going to work. It just means that the person doesn't need to be honest and can avoid giving true detailed and fair feedback.
It means that you don't get to look into the whites of their eyes (so to speak), and therefore you don't know whether they speak the truth. or they're just saying what you want to hear.
4. Awkward people give awful feedback
For someone to give you true and honest feedback they have to feel comfortable, and they have to feel that it's worthwhile.
Imagine it's like the ROI of feedback. Is it worth the risk to give you the truth, is it worth my time, will you listen and take action?
If a person doesn't believe that the effort and risk that they're going to take in telling you is less than the potential for you to take it on board and do something about it, then the easiest thing to do would be just to tell you what you want to hear to get rid of you as quick as possible.
It's not worth the effort, and it's certainly not worth the risk of you being upset or ranting at them, or even worse making their life harder because they told you something that you didn't want to hear.
5. Throwing your teddies out the pram doesn’t get good feedback
I know it hurts, or it might do if you get feedback you don't like, and no one likes that, but you have to show up in an open adult ego state to be able to take on the feedback you are getting.
If you can’t show up willing to listen, then you are going to frustrate yourself, turn your volunteers off and end up guessing.
When its difficult to hear, we need to manage our emotions or we are at risk of the rant, or the spitting the dummy option, and that is going to make you look silly, childish, and weak as a leader.
Putting our big girl or boy pants on is a much better idea for long term growth, so we have to step into them.
So, if you want to be able to know the impact that we have, we need to check that we are setting ourselves up to succeed, by building trust, openness, and honesty, and listening hard to what those out there are willing to risk telling us.
That’s just one of the things we focus on in our Impact Accelerator so if you would like to know more about how to get good feedback, create impact and grow as a leader, then email [email protected] and we can talk through what’s going on for you and how we can help.
Watch our 15-minute live on this subject here
Julie.
Julie "Chief Impact Engineer" Hutchison
Email: [email protected]
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